ARE YOU A SHAADI MATERIAL?

Homo sapiens prefer to live in denial. By default, we love to ignore the fact that one day one person will have to bear with us for the rest of their lives and we'll have to bear with them for the rest of ours. We all love the idea of being in love, of being loved and more. It's only when your mother reminds you that love is nothing if you are a bad cook, that you go into the denial mode.

Mother- So what do you plan to serve your in-laws on the first day after you marry someone?

Me- Maggi! Which I'll make in that kettle you gave me when I went to the hostel.

Mother-And who will transport that kettle to the new house?

Me- You come with me. And make better things. Feed damaadji and me also.

Mother- No one is going to marry you!

Get my point? 

If you are a girl and this has never happened to you, it will. Just a matter of time.

So before it happens to you or has already happened, let us all go have that reality check. Let us all be prepared to hear that wedding bells are our first priority.

1. Do you have more than four hands?

Can you prepare breakfast for the entire family,stop your hair from falling on your face, comb your daughter's hair and kiss your husband at the same time while watching television? If you can't, then lady, no one, absolutely no one is going to marry you.

2. Can you cook anything possible to human imagination?

Remember that time when you told your mother how you loved that nameless dish your best friend got in her tiffin box? And told her you want that in yours next day? Do you have skills to make that dish by listening to your kid's stupid description? No? No one will marry you!

3. Can you watch back to back saas bahu soaps with interest?

So you are busy watching the grand finale of How I met your mother on your laptop while your mother finished the last tissue when someone died for the third time in 'Yeh Rishta kya kehlata hai'?You don't even know that something with that name exists? You don't care? Why will anyone marry you? 

4. Can you wear a sari on your own?

So is it just me or anyone still out there who has no idea how to drape a sari? Who always called mummy/aunties/sisters to do that for you? Who runs away at the very thought of a sari and heels put together? Who thinks comfort is important, so chuck saris!

But wait, we all loved Priyanka Chopra in Desi Girl. We all can surely learn this department with grace! ;)

5. Can you wake up at 5:30 without using some button known by the name 'Snooze'?

And then wake up the entire family after you have a bath and smell like you just came back from a spa session with wet hair dancing on your husband's face? And then manage to kiss him and run away behind the curtains while he comes all the way searching for you? The very thought of it is tiring? No one is going to marry you! Mark my words.

6.  Can you bargain?

Money and love. Two factors for an everlasting marriage. Sounds bad? It is. Dhobi. Bai. Driver. Tuition teacher. You can't survive today if you can't manage all of them and still provide your kids with a smile at the end of the day by buying them something more. And if you go to the market, and can't manage to stand in the scorching heat and argue with the vegetable seller to give you the tomatoes for a rupee less, then you don't have it in you. Go out and learn, girl!

7. Can you share your bed?

Remember that time in the holidays when you used to wake up at 1 in the afternoon on your big comfortable cozy bed and go off to sleep again? Those days can't last forever for us.

Space. What else does one need at the end of a tiring day? Is that too much to ask for? And if you have to share that also with someone who is busy snoring, pain is all we feel. 

8. Can you answer your child's sex related questions?

Years ago,

Me-Where did I come from?

Mother-The angel gifted us with you while we were sleeping. 

Me- But why does my nose match with yours?

Mother-The angel changed your nose after she saw how I looked.

Me-I also want a kid right now. Call the angel.

We have all been through this. When we didn't know the origin of our existence. And used to burst our parents with endless and senseless questions. If you can't make up crap on the spot when your kid will ask you such questions out of the blue in public, I am sorry. Just sorry!

Perks of being a boy are now hitting me. But all this and much, it's always the girls who win at the end of the day.Because women manage. They some how just manage.

And we really develop invisible hands after marriage.